Overview: At Lumon Industries, we believe the work is mysterious and sacred. As a Severance Floor Supervisor, you will uphold the guiding principles of Kier Eagan by overseeing a team of severed employees engaged in classified data refinement processes. You will maintain strict compliance with Severance Protocol and ensure the well-being and productivity of your team members within the secure confines of the severed workspace. Responsibilities: • Supervise daily operations on the Severance Floor, primarily within Macrodata Refinement or other designated departments. • Monitor severed employees’ performance metrics, morale, and adherence to Lumon policies and values. • Ensure seamless implementation of company directives as communicated by upper management and the Board. • Collaborate with Wellness Counselors, Security Officers, and other interdepartmental supervisors. • Conduct regular briefings and wellness checks; maintain a calm and orderly workplace culture. • Address noncompliant behavior through prescribed disciplinary or corrective measures. • Maintain detailed reports and logs regarding team behavior, output, and interoffice interactions. • Uphold absolute confidentiality regarding both severed and non-severed operations. Qualifications: • Minimum 5 years experience in mid-level corporate supervision, preferably in high-compliance or sensitive-data environments. • Demonstrated leadership under rigid procedural systems. • Comfort with ambiguity and non-disclosure. • Unwavering loyalty to Lumon Industries and the teachings of Kier Eagan. • Excellent interpersonal skills; conflict de-escalation and employee motivation are key. • Candidates must be willing to undergo severance procedure or already be classified as “outie.” Preferred Traits: • A natural inclination toward order, structure, and discipline. • Ability to balance empathy with unwavering adherence to protocol. • Belief in the inherent sanctity of the work being performed, even if its purpose remains undefined. Perks: • Access to company-sponsored Waffle Parties (as merited). • Eligibility for exclusive incentives such as finger traps and paintings of self in professional environments. • The fulfillment of contributing to something greater than oneself—without the burden of knowing what that is.
